TWISTED TURN OF EVENTS

He was doing fine until yesterday when his nurse sent me a message.

Then his doctor called this morning and delivered a bad news. He has developed a pulmonary embolism, which is one of the worst things that could happen to a COVID patient. I turned cold. I was not able to think, and my body went into auto bot mode.

I knew the doctor was saying something about his saturation going down and his heart beating faster than usual, but my mind focused on one thing. That dreadful twist. How could he be okay one time, and be in the worst case now?

Then the doctor said they will remove the embolism. It is up to him to have the will to survive. Then I cried, pretty much of what was left in the conversation was talking in between sobs and cries and snot coming out of my nose. It was the lowest I have had in 11 years since Dad was in this same situation at the CCU.

But I cannot ask why. I know I am not supposed to ask God why. But I have questions only He can answer, and I hope He hears my heart. I try to stiffle my tears now because Baste said it makes me ugly and it will just make things worse. I asked him what can I do? He said I should smile and Tito will soon go home. How easy it is for a child to make simple solutions to bigger problems. Maybe I should stop crying and be more hopeful. Have more faith that he will survive this.

I am again asking for prayers. More prayers to storm the heaven above. More prayers so that he may hear and have the will to go on living.

I am hopeful. I try to not think of the worst because I don’t want that to happen.

To anyone who can read this, please include Joven in your prayers. Thank you.